Posts Tagged ‘tradition’
Written by hedir on 22 December 2008
I’m always amazed at how things have started and how we allow tradition to dictate what we do…even if it makes no sense.
Now I’ll be the first to acknowledge that I have many, many shortcomings. I’m probably a sexist (when the behavior is not intended to be). But for the life of me I cannot understand something that we do in this society (and perhaps in the world)—why does a woman ‘take’ a man’s last name when they get married?
Now, I think at one point women were considered property and literally ‘sold’ to suitors for some tangible product (i.e., cows, horses, land). I also understand that these practices still exist in many cultures—I’m not worried about those cultures at this time. I am concerned about the practice here in the U.S. The fact that we didn’t allow women to vote until the early 1900s is incredible and for decades in the history of this country women couldn’t own property individually.
So I could somewhat understand that if women were considered property (a concept that I can’t accept or fathom) they would be given the husband’s name. But in the 21st century, when women are suppose to have all freedoms that men have, why do we continue this practice?
To make this even more complicated, here in Illinois (and I can’t say for sure this exists in other states—but it probably does), when a women marries she AUTOMATICALLY takes the man’s name. If she wanted to keep her maiden name (another interesting term) she would have to petition the court to change her name back. WHY would a state mandate that? What is the logical sense for that?
I state this for a number of reasons:
- The idea that a woman takes a man’s name somehow indicates that the male is master of her destiny
- I find that it can be a terrible disadvantage to women in certain professional careers. For example, we have some amazing women in our PhD program. As many of you know, they work hard during their PhD years, often presenting at various conferences, publishing articles, and making a name of themselves at the national level. Suddenly they get married, change their names, and that name recognition is no longer there. Imagine if Larry Green changed his name to Larry Jones. Obviously, Larry Green is going to be the same person as he always has been but when people are talking about Larry Jones, they’ll refer to him as the former Larry Green (much like Prince did when he changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol—they would always introduce him as the ‘Artist formerly known as Prince’). Now, if we’re in the entertainment business this might be cute…but in a professional career I find it very difficult.
- This is more a personal reason, but hell, I have difficult remembering most people’s names…I’m just tired of having to re-learn their new name.
- With the continuing increase in the percentages of divorces, often time these women drop their ‘married’ name and go back to their ‘maiden’ name…even more confusing.
Now, some women use hyphenated names. That helps a little, but I find it amazing that the males do not use the same hyphenated name. Why should women bear the brunt of changing their name?
Folks, I guess I’ve always known this, but it’s truly a man’s world (and a white man’s world at that).
Now, I speak from some experience in this. My wife kept her last name she was given at birth…no hyphenation last name. She is well known in the area and ‘taking’ my name would have been a definite drawback. There is a major advantage to this. When I get a solicitation call and they ask for ‘Mr. Clark’ or if my wife is called ‘Mrs. Kittleson’ we know they don’t know us and they just want to sell something. We simply tell them there is no Mr. Clark or Mrs. Kittleson living here.
On the other hand, I’ve learned to suck it up when a repair man comes to the house (based on my wife’s request) and they proceed to call me Mr. Clark. I just nod my head—I just want my garbage disposal to work…call me whatever you want.
Now, children are different. I believe hyphenated names are appropriate. The big advantage of this is that the PE coach doesn’t call the kid by their last name (it’s too complicated—‘Hey Clark-Kittleson, get your butt over here’. Instead, they use the child’s first name…somehow having a PE Teacher yell at you using your first name isn’t as intimidating.
Anyway, I regress. Let’s move into the 20th century (since we are in the 21st) and start treating women as true equals.
Tags: names, sexism, tradition
Posted in Humor, Thoughts | 3 Comments »
Written by hedir on 22 December 2008
I’m always amazed at how things have started and how we allow tradition to dictate what we do…even if it makes no sense.
Now I’ll be the first to acknowledge that I have many, many shortcomings. I’m probably a sexist (when the behavior is not intended to be). But for the life of me I cannot understand something that we do in this society (and perhaps in the world)—why does a woman ‘take’ a man’s last name when they get married?
Now, I think at one point women were considered property and literally ‘sold’ to suitors for some tangible product (i.e., cows, horses, land). I also understand that these practices still exist in many cultures—I’m not worried about those cultures at this time. I am concerned about the practice here in the U.S. The fact that we didn’t allow women to vote until the early 1900s is incredible and for decades in the history of this country women couldn’t own property individually.
So I could somewhat understand that if women were considered property (a concept that I can’t accept or fathom) they would be given the husband’s name. But in the 21st century, when women are suppose to have all freedoms that men have, why do we continue this practice?
To make this even more complicated, here in Illinois (and I can’t say for sure this exists in other states—but it probably does), when a women marries she AUTOMATICALLY takes the man’s name. If she wanted to keep her maiden name (another interesting term) she would have to petition the court to change her name back. WHY would a state mandate that? What is the logical sense for that?
I state this for a number of reasons:
- The idea that a woman takes a man’s name somehow indicates that the male is master of her destiny
- I find that it can be a terrible disadvantage to women in certain professional careers. For example, we have some amazing women in our PhD program. As many of you know, they work hard during their PhD years, often presenting at various conferences, publishing articles, and making a name of themselves at the national level. Suddenly they get married, change their names, and that name recognition is no longer there. Imagine if Larry Green changed his name to Larry Jones. Obviously, Larry Green is going to be the same person as he always has been but when people are talking about Larry Jones, they’ll refer to him as the former Larry Green (much like Prince did when he changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol—they would always introduce him as the ‘Artist formerly known as Prince’). Now, if we’re in the entertainment business this might be cute…but in a professional career I find it very difficult.
- This is more a personal reason, but hell, I have difficult remembering most people’s names…I’m just tired of having to re-learn their new name.
- With the continuing increase in the percentages of divorces, often time these women drop their ‘married’ name and go back to their ‘maiden’ name…even more confusing.
Now, some women use hyphenated names. That helps a little, but I find it amazing that the males do not use the same hyphenated name. Why should women bear the brunt of changing their name?
Folks, I guess I’ve always known this, but it’s truly a man’s world (and a white man’s world at that).
Now, I speak from some experience in this. My wife kept her last name she was given at birth…no hyphenation last name. She is well known in the area and ‘taking’ my name would have been a definite drawback. There is a major advantage to this. When I get a solicitation call and they ask for ‘Mr. Clark’ or if my wife is called ‘Mrs. Kittleson’ we know they don’t know us and they just want to sell something. We simply tell them there is no Mr. Clark or Mrs. Kittleson living here.
On the other hand, I’ve learned to suck it up when a repair man comes to the house (based on my wife’s request) and they proceed to call me Mr. Clark. I just nod my head—I just want my garbage disposal to work…call me whatever you want.
Now, children are different. I believe hyphenated names are appropriate. The big advantage of this is that the PE coach doesn’t call the kid by their last name (it’s too complicated—‘Hey Clark-Kittleson, get your butt over here’. Instead, they use the child’s first name…somehow having a PE Teacher yell at you using your first name isn’t as intimidating.
Anyway, I regress. Let’s move into the 20th century (since we are in the 21st) and start treating women as true equals.
Tags: names, sexism, tradition
Posted in Humor, Thoughts | 3 Comments »
